I’ve had a real surprise recently and found that I’m completely outside my comfort zone with the notion of success. I released my third book on Friday (Brave Enough to Love). The lead up to it and this past week have had me looking for words to describe it. And as a student of literature, perhaps I should have chosen words like astounded or surprised, but I’m from the UK, and the word gob-smacked described it perfectly. A smack in the face (gob) surprise works really well for me.

I started writing stories in the last five years, mostly because it’s something I need to do, to explore those thoughts and ideas that have been swirling in my head. I could easily have sat down and used a stream of consciousness approach and a dear diary structure.

I knew I wanted to write something more. What that was, I didn’t know. I could write in academia but knew I would struggle to write prose and dialogue. I went for lessons to show me how and decided to invest in some writing retreats and learned whilst having fun doing it. I’m still learning too.

A number of writers will sit down and write their stories with little planning and no research. They have a detailed knowledge of the world they’re writing about and have a good idea of the characters or the events that will make their story zing. I wish I could say that was me, that I can make a zing without planning or research, but no, I need to know my people, where they are, and what makes them tick.

Brave Enough to Love is set in the world of the conflict in Afghanistan and features a romance between a female soldier and an embedded press reporter—none of which have been part of my world. Yes, I can say that I was in the British Navy, the Women’s’ Royal Naval Service, but in my days, the women didn’t go to sea. I did serve with the Royal Marine Commandos and got a taste for their life, but I was not Commando-trained and was an administrator.

So, you can see when I had the idea of wanting to write something about the Afghanistan conflict, I had a lot of research to do. I have always been interested in what was happening in the war, who had been involved, and the different battles for the different areas of Afghanistan, as well as grief for the lives that were lost there. I was also aware that, certainly in the early days, there were few women working anywhere near the front line.

It was a lot of months of research, but I finally had the outline of the story I wanted to tell, and whilst it wasn’t a documentary, much of it was based around true stories. I have undoubtedly made some mistakes that experts on Afghanistan could criticize me for, but it’s a story and as a writer, I am keen that you, the reader, get the emotion and the feelings that are involved in working on a front line.

So, here I am, with a book that has had some of the most wonderful reviews I could hope for, and readers are talking about it on Facebook. It really has been a success. 

Phew! I was bewildered at the beginning. What do you say to people? I wasn’t expecting this! Their words are wonderful—how could I have written something so deserving of those words? Of course, I’m grateful and pleased, and oh so happy that readers are loving my work. But it’s hard dealing with those words if you’re the kind of person that doesn’t want that kind of attention. The kind of author who’s happy in their writing nest producing words and always reaching for a higher standard. I get embarrassed, and I know I am so very joyous and happy, but the words just come out in a kind of flubby mess. See I’ve had to invent a new word: flubby, meaning inarticulate, embarrassing meanderings.

On that note, I’ll take my flubby away and hope that if you haven’t read the book, that you’ll enjoy it when you get there. It makes my writing success worthwhile.